—New Orleans Pelicans, because there was a New Orleans minor league baseball team in like 1890 named the Pelicans.

—New Orleans Bounce, because who needs the Jazz, we’ve got bounce. ALSO YALL IT WORKS ON TWO LEVELS BECAUSE MUSIC AND BASKETBALLS BOUNCE, AMIRITE?

—New Orleans Termite Swarm. You ever been to New Orleans in the spring when somebody leaves the lights on in front their house? Yeah.

—New Orleans Palmettos. By which we mean giant flying New Orleans cockroaches. (Credit: parkersmuse)

—New Orleans Bywater Hipsters. Because winning is so mainstream.

—New Orleans Indians. The only people outside New Orleans who’d understand it are family members of David Simon who watch HBO.

—New Orleans Fightin’ Crawfish. Logo: Crawfish with a straight tail. Because fuck all yall, yall not eating me.